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| Balasana, the physical manifestation of humility |
What’s up, NIP?
I’ve been
thinking about humility lately and what an unsung virtue it is within our
culture. Humility in many ways is perceived as a weakness rather than a
strength, mainly because the images and stereotypes with which we are bombarded
are constantly conveying that we need to be proud of our individual
accomplishments. This pride, though, often borders on (and sometimes spills
over into) the realm of braggadocio. Coupled with the pernicious myths of
“self-reliance” and “rugged individualism,” there is a tendency toward
solipsism that is both unhealthy and extremely shortsighted. Being humble,
however, can counteract these impulses, especially when we constantly take into
consideration how much of what we have accomplished in our lives has been
dependent upon the help of other people.
The other
reason I’ve been contemplating and cultivating humility has to do with death,
which I’ve been pondering a lot lately. This has happened for several reasons:
a coworker from the math department died suddenly at the age of 53 about 6
weeks ago; around the same time my father had a significant health scare (he’s
okay now); my paternal grandmother is currently on the verge of making the
transition; and, since at least the beginning of the year and perhaps even a
few weeks before that, I have been actively visualizing my own end every day as
part of a Stoic exercise that Seneca discusses in his essays and letters, the
net effect being an overwhelming appreciation of my life and all that it contains.
The words
humble and humility have a rather intimate connection with death because they
come from the Latin word “humus,” which means “ground” or “earth,” and the word
humus is also used in English to designate the dark layer of topsoil that is
primarily composed of recycled organic material. When we die and
(traditionally) are interred, we are made low or “humbled” by life itself,
reconnecting with the life of which we were a small yet important part. But we
shouldn’t wait until our deathbeds to contemplate and cultivate humility,
because in doing so now we become
free from the shackles of our own ego. As we work to become more and more
humble, we readily accept the help of others and offer our help to others in
turn. We start to truly realize that self-reliance—though a noble idea in one
sense—is a mistaken view that has pitfalls that can sabotage our true
potential, specifically when it comes to recognizing and celebrating the
symbiotic interdependence that binds everything and everyone together in this
miraculous life.
I don’t think
anyone I know would have ever called me a braggart or boastful, but I know I
can be even more humble than I am. For the last several years, I’ve always had
a “we” mentality when it has come to how I speak about (or with) family,
friends, coworkers, and perhaps most importantly, my students. Just as the
concept of emergence has demonstrated time and again, the whole is always
something much more, much stronger than the individual parts that comprise the system.
I am starting to realize that humility works in much the same way—as an
emergent property. The more I have focused on cultivating love, compassion,
gratitude, generosity, and patience in myself and others, the more humble I
become because I realize that SO much of my life has been handed to me by
chance, not by my own efforts. I can’t credit myself for having been born in
the late 20th century to two loving parents who saw to it that I had
all of my basics needs such as food, clothing, and shelter met. I can’t take
credit for the education I received, as much of that was imparted to me by
teachers who cared. I can’t take credit for the skills I received in other
areas of my life, as there were coaches and other committed individuals who
helped me achieve my dreams. And I certainly can’t take credit for having the
excellent fortune to be born in a highly developed country such as the United
States. And whether you ascribe these facts to providence or randomness doesn’t
change the single most important fact—that this is the life that we have all been
handed and the recognition of this fact necessitates the cultivation of
humility.
Granted, I
could mention personal effort, circumstance, and how I have used these gifts to
my advantage, but that doesn’t negate the need for humility. In fact, I think
humility is essential for egalitarianism. A big part of being humble is
accepting that, on a basic level, each and every one of us is the same. We are
all human beings. We all are born, live, and will one day die. This amazing,
fantastic ride we call life only moves in one direction, and in accepting this
gift with humility we honor all who were instrumental in us being here in the
first place. I think this idea really puts into the proper context just how
silly it is to boast about oneself and/or brag about accomplishments. If all
elements of who we are and all of the things that we have done in life are
ultimately contingent upon the efforts of others, then self-reliance proves
itself to be at best a misguided view and estimation of oneself and, at worst,
a worldview that blinds a person to the possibilities and potentiality of an
other-centric life.
The most
important aspect of cultivating humility along with the other five virtues that
I mentioned above and in numerous previous letters is that it/they foster a
willingness to put others first. By recognizing we all have been imbued with an
inherent sense of equality and dignity by the simple fact that we have been
born, coupled with the fact that all of life is extremely interdependent, we
realize that we have a crucial part to play in the lives of others. We all have
various strengths, capacities, and resources at our disposal, and I believe
each of us has a moral imperative to help one another in whatever way we can.
But this is difficult to do without humility. Humility is the glue that binds
us to one another, whereas extremely egocentric pride only inures us to the
plight of others because of the mistaken notion that one has done everything in
life without the aid of other people. We must overcome this tendency toward the
notion of self-reliance by critically examining this one aspect of our American
ethos, and balancing its unintended detriment to others with a healthy dose of
humility.
One of my
favorite poses in yoga is balasana,
often translated as “child’s pose,” which is a restorative pose that is used to
promote relaxation of both the body and mind. I don’t use it during my regular practice
very much, but every night before I go to bed a do several stretches for my
back and legs, often culminating in balasana for a full minute. In literally
making myself low, I often find myself thinking about humility in those
moments. Whether these thoughts come to mind due to the direct connection to
the ground, the physical posture of bowing/surrender, or a combination of both,
all I know is that I feel most humble and grateful in that closing moment of
each day. It’s as if I am bowing to all of life, and especially the other human
beings in it who have been instrumental in helping me become who I am today. I
also realize that I am a work in progress and must continue to cultivate
humility in my own life so that I may be of greater service to others,
including you, NIP.
Namaste (literally, “I bow to you”)!
- Ryan
