The Sanctity of Silence

How have you been, NIP?

            I apologize for having spent the last month in silence, so to speak. Something struck a profound chord in me at the end of February during one of the YTT weekends. It was a quote by Swami Kripalu, one of the well-known teachers who introduced yoga to the West. It reads, “Before you speak, consider whether your words will be an improvement upon silence.” Anyone who knows me personally could see why that would stop me in my tracks. I have the propensity from time to time to be an incessant windbag, believe me. So the last six weeks or so have been an exploration of this idea; I wanted to be more mindful of when I talk, what I say, and how I say it. It’s not easy as it requires something I have yet to cultivate—being mindful of my own thoughts all the time. But I’m working on it. Here’s what I’ve learned so far…

            To many of us, silence has the potential to be terrifying. We don’t like it and our response (whether cultured or instinctual, I cannot say) to it is to banish it with noise of our own making. Whether we talk or turn on a television or any other noise producing stimulus doesn’t matter—we’re trying to mask the silence. This is a particularly interesting phenomenon to observe in my students. Every day there is a brief “bell work” assignment on the board, a review question for them to complete in their notebooks. Perhaps 10% of them sit quietly and do this; the others do too, but while chatting with their neighbors. About a week or so after the weekend I heard the quote, I wrote it up on my whiteboard for the “Quote-of-the-Week” and then proceeded to watch their reactions; not much changed. That Friday, however, I pointed the quote out to them and our “Cultural Friday Activity”—a moment when we step outside the purview of geography and broaden our understanding with a poem, song, article, whatever—was to sit in sustained silence for five minutes. Most of them felt awkward at first, but as they settled into their breathing and got comfortable in their seats a hush settled over us like a blanket of snow. I get goosebumps recalling it now, as I think that was one of the best shared moments I’ve had with all of my students this year. Before we observed the silence, I asked them to relax, stop thinking (as much as they could), and really focus on the silence. I wanted them to just stop all the craziness in their minds and take stock of what was in the here and now of that moment. What’s always right here in every moment should we choose to see and hear it—potential.

            When I told them the time was up, many of them were hesitant to talk. By the time five minutes had passed, they had transitioned from feeling awkward to a sense of ease. I think what is so unnerving about silence initially is that it isn’t silence at all. Most of the time there are plenty of other auditory stimuli filling the void. But the act of listening intently, almost as if trying to penetrate the real silence that is beneath those noises brings us a grounding experience. Focusing solely on the silence allows us to get out of our heads by quieting our minds. And considering our minds are precisely the source of our pains—and joys—it is best to give them a break once a while by engrossing them in stillness. The stillness that follows the silence (or is perhaps part of it) allows us in many ways to simply be. To appreciate life for what it is. To revel in the breeze that brings the scent of blooming milkweed and the sounds of songbirds. That entire day with my students, in fact, I kept my vigil trained on the tree outside, twisting in the wind. The sunshine tickled the twigs and danced on the verdant, budding leaves while I kept listening for the wind. I couldn’t detect the slightest whisper in the silence, but in that space and time I felt as if everything in life was pure. It was then that I intuitively knew that only our thoughts have the power to sully this purity.

This is perhaps why my students didn’t want to talk. They felt it too. To destroy the silence we had created would be to make the world profane again. Each of them perhaps had found the solace they sought. There is something sagacious about silence. It teaches us every time we tune into it. It begins with our submission to our surroundings, listening intently to discover the “satya” or personal truth that lay beneath the rubble of our everyday mental chatter. The very act of listening in some way seems to consecrate the world, to imbue it with a precarious inviolability as paradoxical as that may sound. What is made manifest in so doing is miraculous. It’s an ineffable, ephemeral connection with being. Though it may be tenuous, there’s something sustaining and substantial about it. When my students and I finally broke the bond with silence we felt changed. A little more at ease with ourselves, with each other. There was a calm that stayed with us for a few minutes after and when chatter resumed it was lower in volume and lighter in tone. For lack of a better explanation, the silence seemed to be healing. It was a salve to the day’s stresses and wounds, most of which had been mentally afflicted by others or ourselves. Getting in touch with the ground of being, the essence of life and its very pulse and breath, we were able to let go a lot of our anxiety and inhibition. By doing so we allowed ourselves to grow just a little bit, to learn from the wisdom within the sacredness of silence.

If you get the chance, NIP, make some time for exploring the silence in your life. Even if it is only for five minutes each day, try to really listen to what’s going on in your world. Our culture offers an endless sea of anesthetizing distractions that tug our focus in every which way but within. The answers you seek and the healing we all need begins by communing each day with silence. Today my meditation consisted of sitting just outside the backdoor of my porch in the shade, closing my eyes, and listening to the world around me. It was comforting to be still, take a moment, and enjoy the fact that I am alive. That I am breathing. That I have a wonderful wife. An excellent family. Meaningful relationships with friends. A great group of students. And a whole other lot of blessings that came and went in my mind as I tried my best to discern the satya of the sacred silence beneath the sounds of the outside world. Silence, like darkness, is sometimes feared unnecessarily. It is only the complement to sound, the other half of the dynamic—and unfortunately the one we tune into way too much. Take some time to get to know silence, NIP; I’m sure you’ll come to find it quite comforting.

Shhhh. The cicadas are calling…

Keep listening, NIP.

- Ryan   

The Five Qualities

Hello again, NIP,

            I would like to begin by apologizing for the brevity of the previous letter. With the wedding that afternoon and my inability to find the specific type of Poppycock that Erin wanted for Valentine’s Day, I was trying to write with little time. Additionally, I wanted to also discuss something further that I mentioned in the letter: the five qualities. The reason I wanted to come back and revisit this topic so soon is due to the book I recently started reading by Karen Armstrong, Twelve Steps to a Compassionate Life. Though I’ve only read the first half of the book, so much of what she has talked about in those pages explains a fundamental part of the metamorphosis that I’ve been going through. And it all begins with my daily meditation.

            If you’ve been reading my letters for a while, NIP, then you know how crucial meditation has been to my personal transformation. While there are many other activities that one can pursue in order to cultivate a similar level of mental focus and control over one’s thoughts, meditation has been proven to be one of (if not “the”) most effective. I’ve been meditating for over a year now. I began slowly and over the course of a few months eventually built up my practice to 30 minutes every morning. There are lots of ways to meditate, but mine is a rather simple technique. All I do is focus on my breathing. Usually I begin with deep breaths while trying to keep my mind vacant. It sounds easier than it is, because our minds tend to be like wild beasts when we first shut our eyes. Thoughts about what you have to do that day, thoughts from the night before, thoughts about what you’re hearing in the outside world while trying to be still and silent, even random crazy memories will pop up—but you must wipe them all away. Focusing on your breath, though, makes the thoughts go away. By focusing on the sound of your breathing, the thoughts (in time) will plague you less and less. Like any other skill, the more you practice the easier it becomes. After a few minutes of focusing on the breath, you will become more relaxed physically (this works especially well if you do some light yoga before trying meditation, as the stretches help your body relax) and begin to notice the sensation in your body. Breathing will eventually get shallow, which will allow you to relax even more. For the last ten minutes or so of my meditation, however, I do start to activate my mind by honing in on what I have dubbed “the five qualities”: love, compassion, gratitude, generosity, and patience. I return to breathing deeply, yet with each breath I imagine drawing in these attributes one at a time. Breathe in love, breathe out love. Breathe in compassion, breathe out compassion. You get the idea.

            Why these qualities, though? I’ve asked myself the same thing, NIP, and I don’t have a good answer. When I had just started my meditation practice—probably at the point when I would try to meditate for 10 straight minutes—I thought it would be a good idea to concentrate on the things I wanted to change most about myself (or at least my outward demeanor). The first one that popped into my head was patience. Anyone who has known me long enough can tell you that there is a world of difference in my levels of patience now compared to even 3 years ago. It was simple enough; all I did was focus on the word and imagined that with each breath I was becoming a more patient person. Over time I added the other four. Sometimes I’d imagine what these attributes looked like when put into action, or I would pick a single one and meditate on it for an entire week. And after consistent meditation, I really can see how these changes are occurring within me. While I don’t think these qualities are the only ones to center on, they are fairly universal. For you, NIP, there may be other qualities that you’d prefer to nurture because, functionally speaking, they may be more beneficial to breaking bad habits or some other goal. Regardless of the ones you choose, if you pay particular attention to nurture these attributes they will become stronger and more developed.

            The five qualities I have listed are fairly universal, so they may be a good place to start for you too. I feel these five in particular have a lot to offer, as the world needs people to be better to one another. Or at least counteract some of our “me-first” tendencies, as Armstrong calls them in her book. As I mentioned in the prior letter, love is the most important. One could even make the case that the other four qualities are in some ways manifestations of love. Love is central because it is what bonds us together as human beings. First in the family, then perhaps among our friends, maybe even some of our coworkers. But it shouldn’t stop there. I know it sounds crazy to say that we should love everyone, but why not? Do we not want to be loved by others? Of course we do. So it is safe to assume (in this one case, at least) that “the other” feels the same way.

Compassion is the next logical step, because in many ways compassion is love actualized. Armstrong goes to great lengths in her book to define compassion and distinguish it from pity, which is often how it is perceived. Compassion is not to feel bad for someone, but to fully understand the other person’s predicament, to empathize with what that person is going through. Sure we might not have been through the exact same experience, but we can often call to mind some similar ordeal that tested us. By being compassionate it helps put into perspective that the person in question is a real human being too. One who shares the human condition and who may have similar aspirations and faults, just like we all have. Ultimately, compassion is the step that brings us all to common ground.

Gratitude is another extension of love insofar as loving what life offers us. Whether we see something in our lives as good or bad is completely up to us. It took me a long time to truly realize this and make the according changes to the way I lived, but when I did I can’t tell you how much richer my life became. Not because I won the lottery (well, I did marrying Erin), but because having constant gratitude has enabled me to broaden my view of the miraculous. I pay much more attention to the details of life that we most often overlook as being insignificant and it has paid tremendous dividends to my mental well-being. If you’ve never read the post from my 35^th birthday (Gratitude for the Here and Now), there is a short mantra that you may read and try to incorporate into your routine (or create one of your own!). Without fail, I wake each morning, take care of the girls, bring Erin her coffee, and then silently recite my mantra when I get to my yoga mat. Try it even for a few days and see if you feel any differently. I bet you’ll find you are more grateful, especially for life’s little intangible gifts.

Generosity is the fourth on the list. In my original conception of the five qualities, this space was for kindness. Not to say that kindness isn’t important, but I felt it was a redundancy considering love and compassion were already two of the five qualities I was trying to cultivate. Generosity is something that we can all practice easily. Generosity is not about money. While you can be generous with your money, not all people have funds with which to be generous. And that’s totally fine. Anyone can be generous in a number of ways, but perhaps the most important is being generous with our time. As you know, NIP, I think time is easily our most precious commodity. We have only a limited amount and of that limited amount we really don’t know how much there is to begin with. Being generous with our time could mean volunteer work at a favorite charity or just sitting with a friend or family member who needs us. Whether we are working or listening, devoting that time to the person in need is a form of generosity. Much like the rest of these qualities, generosity opens us up to our fellow human beings in ways that allow us to become the best of who we are.

And then there’s patience. As I mentioned earlier, I am much, much more patient than I once was. It’s funny when my senior students whom I taught as freshmen talk about this. They get wide-eyed and tell the underclassmen sitting nearby that I am very different from 3 years ago. I think they can tell that I released my anger. I’m older (definitely) and wiser (hopefully) now, and much of that change has been a willingness to relinquish control over certain areas of my life; namely, the ones I thought I could control but in actuality had no control over. By putting patience into practice I have learned to take so much in stride. It’s definitely had the biggest impact in my professional life, as I don’t get so easily riled by student apathy. While I’m not going to deny that student apathy doesn’t bother me, I also have accrued the wisdom to know that it is part of youth. We were that age at one time and I’m sure that we were all apathetic about certain parts of life, particularly education. By being patient with my students, and by extension other people, I have learned to slow myself down, take stock of the miraculous life around me, and thereby appreciate each moment a little more. Patience also often prevents us from blowing things out of proportion, because our knee-jerk reactions to certain situations can sometimes put us in a bind. We may say mean or hurtful things in the heat of the moment, only to apologize later for our behavior. By developing our patience, it allows us to take a deep breath, formulate our thoughts, and avoid making a situation worse than it needs to be.

The final part of the puzzle is putting these attributes into practice. You can’t simply focus on them in your interior life, NIP, they must be exercised in the exterior life as well. This is easier said than done, to be honest. We are all fallible. We all make mistakes. Though I can unequivocally say I have changed since beginning my meditation practice and focusing on the improvement of these five qualities in my own life, I am still a work in progress. This past weekend, in fact, taught me a valuable lesson in equanimity. While I think these attributes have changed me for the better, I have yet to learn to utilize them equally in all situations. As I’m sure you have experienced in your own life, NIP, we often save our worst for those we love the most. Perhaps this comes from the fact that there is no persona for family. We let it all hang out and we show our true colors quite freely. Sometimes this can be bad. I was definitely not exercising patience when my brother was finally ready to leave for Clearwater beach at 1 in the afternoon. I won’t bore you with the details, but my choice to be impatient with him was no one’s fault other than my own. I thought about it the rest of the weekend and have since been focusing on equanimity in my meditations. If these five qualities are going to make me a better person, they must do so at all times and under all conditions. It may take time, but I’m willing to put in the work. Every day that I keep chipping at my life’s labor, I see progress. In that progress I find reassurance. And each new day I pick up the metaphorical hammer and chisel and begin again.

Keep chipping away, NIP.

- Ryan

Love Is in the Air

Dear NIP,

            Today our friends Jason and Andrea are getting married. Spring is coming. Though the walk with the girls was brisk this morning, it was filled with sunshine spilling over rooftops and birdsong wafting on the chilly breeze. Erin actually just walked in and gave me a little buss. Much like many of you, love is probably on your mind in some capacity or another. Valentine’s Day is tomorrow and I still don’t have Erin’s gift yet. I know what it is but I can’t find it anywhere. While love is in the air perhaps it’s the perfect time to focus on it and really ponder its value in our lives. At this stage in my life I don’t think there is anything more crucial than love. It’s the hub of a virtuous life the way I see it. From there other qualities such as compassion, gratitude, generosity, and patience extend themselves to reach out to others. They are simply manifestations of love. Since I began my journey down the yogic path, and especially during my daily meditations, I have tried to focus on cultivating these five aspects into who I am becoming.  The more I do so, the more it seems my relationships with others grow stronger.

            I know for some of you, this time of year can also be painful. Perhaps it is the loss of a significant person who had been in our lives, or the longing to find that someone who will love and accept who we are. When I was younger I had a hard time with this. Reflecting on it now, I can see how I didn’t love who I was. I’m sure it began with a negative self-image because of my physical condition. Media and culture can be powerfully subtle influences on our psyches, which only reinforced a pejorative view of myself. I can’t be sure what it was that initially changed how I felt about myself, but I did. The changes were slow in coming, but in hindsight they have all been worth it. Erin was definitely the final shift. She is the one who truly made me feel that I deserve to be loved for who I am. With all my bizarre quirks and idiosyncrasies, she sees the good in me. And for the first time in my life, she made me see that they had been there all along. But the recognition had to come from within. Before I could truly love others I had to love myself. I think we all have to let ourselves heal from time to time. Perhaps the changes I’ve undergone have been a process of healing. It did help to have someone really make me realize this, NIP, but we are all capable of loving ourselves if allow ourselves to do so. I think this goes back to focus as well. If we choose to see the negative, we will always stare down our flaws; harnessing our positive attributes allows us to refine our potential in many areas of our lives. If we channel that constructive energy into what we are most passionate about, our lives are enriched in manifold ways.

            While you have a moment to contemplate the love in your life, try to also make a commitment to think about it every day. As I mentioned in my last letter, Grandma reminded me that we always must come from a place of love. No matter what, when, where, how, if the intention stems from love then the result will ultimately be good. It’s not always easy, but it’s always worth the effort. Love is ultimately about sacrifice. Your willingness to give to the beloved that which will make the other’s life more fulfilling. It’s a reciprocal process, which is another wonderful benefit of love. The more you try to give it to others, the more you feel it returned. I am blessed to have so much love in my life. From my family, to my friends, to my students—and Erin most of all—I am surrounded by the best thing that life has to offer…love.

Think about the love in your life, NIP, particularly the people you share it with on a daily basis. How can we show more love to our families? Life is incredibly hectic, so make sure you save time to spend with them. Make the most of those moments by sharing love and then think on them fondly when you can’t be together. Love isn’t just some fleeting feeling that gets its own commercial holiday once a year, it is the foundation of a fulfilling life. By trying to bring love into everything we do, we give even menial actions substance. Everyday life becomes less and less “every day.” Every moment that I have the good fortune to spend with Erin could be its own little time capsule postcard picture. Even now she is by my side doing work for her kindergarten class and I feel fortunate to be here in this space in time. We may be doing different things, but I know some part of her is thinking about me, just as I am thinking about her. By putting love into all of our efforts, we start to feel this kinship with others more easily. The hardest step, though, is learning to love ourselves. It’s also the easiest, too, because once we cross that threshold it’s hard to stop. You just want to give it to others so they can ride the wave and inspire others in turn. What begins as “philos” transforms into “agape.” Loving eventually becomes a snowballing process. Let it expand us all in our relationships with each other.

Pass the love, NIP.

- Ryan  

May the Blessings Be

How are you, NIP?

            I am well. Quite well, in fact. It’s taken me a long time to get here—and I’m still a work in progress—but I’m glad to have this opportunity to keep becoming. Keep breathing. Keep living. With every passing day that I recite my morning gratitude mantra I truly feel more blessed. It’s constantly on my mind how precious life really is because I’m always reminded of the odds. I can’t quite put it into words but I know that it has everything to do with my perceptions of the world at this point in my life—much of which I believe have been nurtured by my grandmother Philomena over the years. While Erin and I were in Rhode Island for the holidays, we spent some time with “Grandma” and as soon as we left Erin and I had remarked what a nice visit it had been. I hadn’t seen her in person for about 3 years, and we all simply sat together in her apartment for three hours, talking and enjoying the snow topped vista of Providence from her 10^th floor. When we left Grandma gave me a few short books about meditation and contemplative prayer, one of which I read on the plane ride back to Florida. It had an explanation about a phrase I had read frequently in my correspondence with Grandma, “May the Blessings Be.” I always liked the ring of it, but I never quite comprehended the phrase’s intent. Now that I do I find myself saying it all the time, especially right before I begin my meditation.

            I think much of my dissatisfaction with life before I met Erin had to do with my focus, how I perceived and interpreted my reality. I don’t know what it is about our species that makes us so susceptible to negativity, but if it’s not in our nature then we at least gravitate toward it because of our environment. Especially our consumption based economic environment, which promotes having stuff. This ideal prompts many to believe that “stuff” equates “happiness.” Most of us at some point in our lives uncritically swallow this whole and try to purchase happiness at Best Buy or wherever else we think we can find and pay for it. But I think the quicker we come to realize that this doesn’t and will never work, we abandon the idea and move on to more beneficial worldviews. When I did focus on what I didn’t have, it made me miserable. What was worse is that those two forces were reciprocal—the more miserable I became, the more I focused on what I didn’t have. It was always out there. External. It wasn’t an instantaneous change when I met Erin, but she was definitely the turning point. I started to focus on how she enhanced my life and me personally and it just kept on getting better. Now I just let the blessings be. It’s that simple. I’m grateful for too many things for me to type out here, and it’s all because of my focus now—on what I do have.

            It may not be much in the material sense. I live in a modest home with playful pets and a wonderful wife, but I couldn’t ask for more. What would be the point? All it takes is seeing that what we value is determined only by us, and if what we value is what we have rather than what we don’t our lives are cups bountifully overflowing. In an intangible sense, I consider myself a man of unparalleled wealth. I have so much because I choose to see the riches surrounding me while simply living life. Grandma’s valediction of “May the Blessings Be,” then, is this idea in principle. All it requires is accepting what life offers us. We can’t ask for blessings because it would be about having something specific, which is what causes us to focus on the negative if it is never fulfilled and we’re left wanting. But by focusing on every blessing you receive from life—no matter how insignificant or small—life becomes instantly and constantly enriching. 

             This is an attitude that has to be developed, however, not simply recognized. Candide was right to say that we must cultivate our gardens. We must tirelessly toil on ourselves, specifically our mental dispositions and self-discipline to improve our own lives. It is all within our power, but it begins with letting the blessings be. Be grateful to wake up tomorrow and realize that a new day is the first of many blessings—another chance to improve your life, NIP. Another chance to pursue your passions. Another chance to take a deep breath, ponder how truly infinitesimal the odds of your particular, specific existence are, and realize that you are morally obligated to strive, to become who you are, to do what makes you feel alive and makes the world a better place in the process. I can’t say for certain if I’ll ever get the chance to experience this miracle of life again, so why squander the chance I have now? I can’t get back the time I lost, so why bother with the past? I’ve lived and learned and that’s not only brought me here but it’s given me the wisdom and courage to understand all there is is right here, right now. The more I focus on letting the blessings be, the more I seem to be surrounded by them in every single moment.

 

            After you’ve read this short letter, NIP, try to focus on the blessings you have in your life. I’m sure you’ve heard the expression “blessings in disguise,” but I think more appropriate and important is “blessings in perception.” Life is how we see it. If we are willing to “see” the blessings and realize that they are all beneficial to becoming the best of who we are, we accept them willingly and unconditionally. By doing so you’ll begin a healthy process of reciprocity—whereas not having led to negativity, having (the realized blessings) leads to positivity. This positivity leads to gratitude. The crazy part is the more grateful I become the more blessings I receive! Just trust me and try it. You won’t be disappointed.

May the Blessings Be, NIP.

- Ryan

P.S. – This letter is dedicated to you, Grandma. Know that this letter in particular was written with more heart than head, and that I am grateful for all of your guidance and support over my lifetime. From taking me to see chamber music at a public library during my youth, to reminding me that we must begin from a place of love in any undertaking during our most recent visit, you have nurtured my spirit in innumerable ways. Like a tender gardener who whispers well-wishes while watering, your words and love echo within and have cajoled me to blossom. Ja cie kocham!

A Year of Yoga

Happy New Year, NIP!

            Welcome to 2011. I sincerely hope your 2010 was an excellent year for you, NIP. Though we shouldn’t get too hung up on the past, the coming of the new year brings us the opportunity to reflect on our successes over the past year and to also focus on what we’d like to change in the coming one. With all of this in mind, we can deliberate where to next place the chisel for the coming hammer strike. Perhaps we can take a break from one area of our life’s statue to focus on carving out another, or we can rededicate ourselves to an area we feel we’ve neglected or simply need more time to refine the details of our work in that area. The additional focus on a particular attribute or activity doesn’t mean you can ignore the other areas of your life, as we both know life needs to be balanced among many priorities simultaneously. But if there were one single aspect you could work on the most this year, what would it be? Your personal relationships? Your profession? Your passion(s)? While you should choose what will benefit you the most, NIP, I would urge you to work on what you are most passionate about. As I’ve said in previous letters, I truly believe our passions are the key to unlocking our true potential as human beings. By cultivating passion we improve our lives on a much broader spectrum; it affects who we are and ultimately what we are able to accomplish with our limited time in this life. And for 2011, my focus will be yoga.

            A whole year of yoga, in fact. For the last few months, Erin and I have eagerly been anticipating January of 2011. This past late summer/early autumn, we began looking into the possibility of becoming certified yoga teachers, scouring the internet for information and training programs. While we would have loved to go to India or Bali for an entire month long immersion program, it was neither practical nor affordable for us. Our own yoga instructor had recommended a local training program that one of her teachers had attended/completed. We went to an informational meeting and shortly thereafter put down our deposit. And then we waited. We’re still waiting, in fact, but not for much longer. In three weeks, after much anticipation, we will begin. The teacher training consists of a full weekend about every other month (two 8 hour days plus a short session on Friday nights) and then every Wednesday night for two hours. It takes about a year to earn all 200 hours for the initial certification (there’s also a 500 hour level certification that can be earned, but only after 1,000 hours of teaching experience with your 200 hour credentials), which will culminate in December of this year.

            While Erin and I are excited to begin our training, I am looking forward to 2011 with a new resolve for my personal yoga practice. Whether or not Erin and I become teachers is something the future may or may not hold for us; our primary objective in completing the training is to further and deepen our own practice of yoga. By becoming intimately acquainted with this ancient art and its techniques, we know it will contribute to an even better developed sense of well-being. Ever the omnivorous student of life, I can’t wait to learn new ideas/concepts and apply them to my yoga practice specifically and my daily living generally. The incorporation of yoga into my life over the past two years has made a significant impact, but I still feel as if I’ve skimmed the surface with regard to what kind of additional potential within me this training will unlock. And so this year, like no other in years past since I have made this turn around with my life, I will focus solely on yoga.

            To stay in good shape physically, I’ve used a combination of exercise. It all started a couple of years ago when I did P90X. It was challenging and I had great results. Combined with my new eating habits, I not only felt the difference physically, but mentally and spiritually as well. Plus, I had always wanted to try yoga and the P90X program was a great introduction to the practice as it was much more challenging than I thought yoga could ever be. So Erin and I started going to the YMCA in the summer of 2009 to further our yoga studies and branched out from there. Then this past summer I completed Insanity. It was grueling but well worth it. I wasn’t trying to get into better shape, just tackle an exercise regimen that was more cardio based. It turned out to be much more difficult than P90X, but again it was worth every second and drop of sweat because I felt I had accomplished something of value, that I had once again proven to myself that I can do anything I really set my mind (and in reality, all of me) to. And though these exercise programs worked well and garnered fantastic results physically, neither of them make me feel the way that yoga does. Yoga is holistic in that it benefits all three aspects, body, mind, and spirit, which is why this year is going to be the year of yoga.

            It wasn’t until this past school year started that I began to daily integrate yoga as part of my routine. Most of my students think it’s crazy that I wake up at 4:30 in the morning to do a light 30 minute yoga session to begin my day; in doing so I feel not only awake, but energized and poised to take on the day’s events and challenges. This year, however, I want to take that one step further. I still will wake for my mini-sessions in the morning to help me prepare for the day, but I want to also make sure I have at least 3 deep, hour-plus length sessions in the afternoons or on weekends. For most of 2010, I would often work out by popping in a P90X or Insanity routine a couple times a week and then do one quality yoga session for exercise with Erin about mid-week. This year, however, I would like to forego the traditional work out methods. I want to prove not only to myself but to others as well that yoga itself is more than sufficient as an exercise regimen. Some of my family, friends and students still cast a sidelong glance of disbelief when I tell them that I primarily do yoga to stay in shape—so this year will be a testament to the transformative power of yoga. No more P90X, no more Insanity, no more basketball on the weekends, just yoga.

            If you’ve been reading these letters, NIP, you know that I am and have been for some time now a staunch advocate for yoga. And while I do think it’s important for our well being as humans to engage in some type of exercise (and level of difficulty) that is appropriate for you and your needs, I truly believe yoga is the perfect exercise solution because it is literally for everyone. Yesterday Erin and I went to a yoga class that was taught by our favorite teacher, Sharon Summerall. The class had close to 20 participants comprised of both genders ranging in age from early 30s to late 60s. Anyone can do it as yoga is a personal, physical expression of who we are and what we are capable of. Your practice is based solely on your abilities, and the more you practice the better your abilities become.

The other reason I think yoga is the perfect exercise is that it’s complete. Yoga not only engages the physical, but our mental and spiritual aspects as well. Mentally speaking, yoga helps develop our focus and self-discipline, which also translates to success in other endeavors. Having a disciplined mind is crucial to developing our nascent dreams and transforming them into our personal realities. Spiritually speaking, yoga satisfies our creative energies and tendencies. The yoga poses in many ways become an expression of the best of who we are—or at least for me they do. They are the culmination of our beingness insofar as they engage all three aspects of what it means to be alive and a human being. There are moments—though fleeting at best—when I feel completely connected to life and everything that it entails. It is a certain stillness that is fraught with energy, tension, or a subtle vibration. It sounds paradoxical, but it is the only way I can try to convey this feeling with words (which, no matter how much we impregnate them with meaning, can never really capture the essence of what is trying to be explained). As I mentioned in an earlier letter about yoga, the word yoga comes from the Sanskrit term for “yoke,” which implies work in relation to beasts of burden. But the more I practice yoga, however, I see other connotations that are still just as valid, namely “union.” In the deepest moments of my practice, when my mind becomes completely still and every muscle fiber in my body feels engaged, the ineffable part of me—whether you want to label it soul or spirit—soars. I am not one for labels, as I feel they can only make the waters of intuitive, mystical understanding murky, but in these moments I feel a union with what the theologian Rudolf Otto calls the mysterium tremendum. These moments, for me, are the height of expression for what it means to be human, to be alive. I feel as if I have all of the answers and yet none. Words will only continue to betray me at this point, but I think we have all felt this at some point or another in our lives. It could have been a religious experience in the traditional sense, or something that simply took your breath away and left you feeling connected to life in some grand way. However you experienced it, NIP, I’m sure you can still recall that moment.

While I would suggest you try some yoga this year, NIP, it doesn’t necessarily have to be that. For you, it could be running or some other physical exercise that you prefer. Typically if it is an activity in which you feel you “lose yourself” it’s probably beneficial. If you’re passionate about it, it may still produce the same effects as what I have experienced with yoga. The most important thing to keep in mind is that New Year’s is not the only day for new beginnings—any day is. We often use New Year’s Day as a time of reflection on the past and commitments for the future, but in truth any day will do. They are all the same, after all. It’s what you’re willing to do moving forward with your life that truly matters. And if you are the type to make resolutions, don’t get down on yourself when you stumble and fall. We all stumble and fall, NIP. All you have to do is pick yourself back up and begin again. Each new day is another chance to become the best of who we are. It may be achieved through yoga, some other endeavor you’re passionate about, or a combination of multiple undertakings. No matter how you accomplish your personal growth, I hope today is the beginning of something fantastic and wonderful in your life, NIP. You have the power to do anything you want to do, provided you commit yourself to becoming the best of who you are. Remember to take on a little at a time, adding a bit more each day as you grow comfortable with and confident in your personal development. We all have a better version of ourselves locked inside of us. Let’s see if we can’t break it out in 2011.

Namaste, NIP.

- Ryan

P.S. – If you’ve never tried it, please take a yoga class and see how you feel—you won’t regret it, NIP!