May the Blessings Be

How are you, NIP?

            I am well. Quite well, in fact. It’s taken me a long time to get here—and I’m still a work in progress—but I’m glad to have this opportunity to keep becoming. Keep breathing. Keep living. With every passing day that I recite my morning gratitude mantra I truly feel more blessed. It’s constantly on my mind how precious life really is because I’m always reminded of the odds. I can’t quite put it into words but I know that it has everything to do with my perceptions of the world at this point in my life—much of which I believe have been nurtured by my grandmother Philomena over the years. While Erin and I were in Rhode Island for the holidays, we spent some time with “Grandma” and as soon as we left Erin and I had remarked what a nice visit it had been. I hadn’t seen her in person for about 3 years, and we all simply sat together in her apartment for three hours, talking and enjoying the snow topped vista of Providence from her 10^th floor. When we left Grandma gave me a few short books about meditation and contemplative prayer, one of which I read on the plane ride back to Florida. It had an explanation about a phrase I had read frequently in my correspondence with Grandma, “May the Blessings Be.” I always liked the ring of it, but I never quite comprehended the phrase’s intent. Now that I do I find myself saying it all the time, especially right before I begin my meditation.

            I think much of my dissatisfaction with life before I met Erin had to do with my focus, how I perceived and interpreted my reality. I don’t know what it is about our species that makes us so susceptible to negativity, but if it’s not in our nature then we at least gravitate toward it because of our environment. Especially our consumption based economic environment, which promotes having stuff. This ideal prompts many to believe that “stuff” equates “happiness.” Most of us at some point in our lives uncritically swallow this whole and try to purchase happiness at Best Buy or wherever else we think we can find and pay for it. But I think the quicker we come to realize that this doesn’t and will never work, we abandon the idea and move on to more beneficial worldviews. When I did focus on what I didn’t have, it made me miserable. What was worse is that those two forces were reciprocal—the more miserable I became, the more I focused on what I didn’t have. It was always out there. External. It wasn’t an instantaneous change when I met Erin, but she was definitely the turning point. I started to focus on how she enhanced my life and me personally and it just kept on getting better. Now I just let the blessings be. It’s that simple. I’m grateful for too many things for me to type out here, and it’s all because of my focus now—on what I do have.

            It may not be much in the material sense. I live in a modest home with playful pets and a wonderful wife, but I couldn’t ask for more. What would be the point? All it takes is seeing that what we value is determined only by us, and if what we value is what we have rather than what we don’t our lives are cups bountifully overflowing. In an intangible sense, I consider myself a man of unparalleled wealth. I have so much because I choose to see the riches surrounding me while simply living life. Grandma’s valediction of “May the Blessings Be,” then, is this idea in principle. All it requires is accepting what life offers us. We can’t ask for blessings because it would be about having something specific, which is what causes us to focus on the negative if it is never fulfilled and we’re left wanting. But by focusing on every blessing you receive from life—no matter how insignificant or small—life becomes instantly and constantly enriching. 

             This is an attitude that has to be developed, however, not simply recognized. Candide was right to say that we must cultivate our gardens. We must tirelessly toil on ourselves, specifically our mental dispositions and self-discipline to improve our own lives. It is all within our power, but it begins with letting the blessings be. Be grateful to wake up tomorrow and realize that a new day is the first of many blessings—another chance to improve your life, NIP. Another chance to pursue your passions. Another chance to take a deep breath, ponder how truly infinitesimal the odds of your particular, specific existence are, and realize that you are morally obligated to strive, to become who you are, to do what makes you feel alive and makes the world a better place in the process. I can’t say for certain if I’ll ever get the chance to experience this miracle of life again, so why squander the chance I have now? I can’t get back the time I lost, so why bother with the past? I’ve lived and learned and that’s not only brought me here but it’s given me the wisdom and courage to understand all there is is right here, right now. The more I focus on letting the blessings be, the more I seem to be surrounded by them in every single moment.

 

            After you’ve read this short letter, NIP, try to focus on the blessings you have in your life. I’m sure you’ve heard the expression “blessings in disguise,” but I think more appropriate and important is “blessings in perception.” Life is how we see it. If we are willing to “see” the blessings and realize that they are all beneficial to becoming the best of who we are, we accept them willingly and unconditionally. By doing so you’ll begin a healthy process of reciprocity—whereas not having led to negativity, having (the realized blessings) leads to positivity. This positivity leads to gratitude. The crazy part is the more grateful I become the more blessings I receive! Just trust me and try it. You won’t be disappointed.

May the Blessings Be, NIP.

- Ryan

P.S. – This letter is dedicated to you, Grandma. Know that this letter in particular was written with more heart than head, and that I am grateful for all of your guidance and support over my lifetime. From taking me to see chamber music at a public library during my youth, to reminding me that we must begin from a place of love in any undertaking during our most recent visit, you have nurtured my spirit in innumerable ways. Like a tender gardener who whispers well-wishes while watering, your words and love echo within and have cajoled me to blossom. Ja cie kocham!

A Year of Yoga

Happy New Year, NIP!

            Welcome to 2011. I sincerely hope your 2010 was an excellent year for you, NIP. Though we shouldn’t get too hung up on the past, the coming of the new year brings us the opportunity to reflect on our successes over the past year and to also focus on what we’d like to change in the coming one. With all of this in mind, we can deliberate where to next place the chisel for the coming hammer strike. Perhaps we can take a break from one area of our life’s statue to focus on carving out another, or we can rededicate ourselves to an area we feel we’ve neglected or simply need more time to refine the details of our work in that area. The additional focus on a particular attribute or activity doesn’t mean you can ignore the other areas of your life, as we both know life needs to be balanced among many priorities simultaneously. But if there were one single aspect you could work on the most this year, what would it be? Your personal relationships? Your profession? Your passion(s)? While you should choose what will benefit you the most, NIP, I would urge you to work on what you are most passionate about. As I’ve said in previous letters, I truly believe our passions are the key to unlocking our true potential as human beings. By cultivating passion we improve our lives on a much broader spectrum; it affects who we are and ultimately what we are able to accomplish with our limited time in this life. And for 2011, my focus will be yoga.

            A whole year of yoga, in fact. For the last few months, Erin and I have eagerly been anticipating January of 2011. This past late summer/early autumn, we began looking into the possibility of becoming certified yoga teachers, scouring the internet for information and training programs. While we would have loved to go to India or Bali for an entire month long immersion program, it was neither practical nor affordable for us. Our own yoga instructor had recommended a local training program that one of her teachers had attended/completed. We went to an informational meeting and shortly thereafter put down our deposit. And then we waited. We’re still waiting, in fact, but not for much longer. In three weeks, after much anticipation, we will begin. The teacher training consists of a full weekend about every other month (two 8 hour days plus a short session on Friday nights) and then every Wednesday night for two hours. It takes about a year to earn all 200 hours for the initial certification (there’s also a 500 hour level certification that can be earned, but only after 1,000 hours of teaching experience with your 200 hour credentials), which will culminate in December of this year.

            While Erin and I are excited to begin our training, I am looking forward to 2011 with a new resolve for my personal yoga practice. Whether or not Erin and I become teachers is something the future may or may not hold for us; our primary objective in completing the training is to further and deepen our own practice of yoga. By becoming intimately acquainted with this ancient art and its techniques, we know it will contribute to an even better developed sense of well-being. Ever the omnivorous student of life, I can’t wait to learn new ideas/concepts and apply them to my yoga practice specifically and my daily living generally. The incorporation of yoga into my life over the past two years has made a significant impact, but I still feel as if I’ve skimmed the surface with regard to what kind of additional potential within me this training will unlock. And so this year, like no other in years past since I have made this turn around with my life, I will focus solely on yoga.

            To stay in good shape physically, I’ve used a combination of exercise. It all started a couple of years ago when I did P90X. It was challenging and I had great results. Combined with my new eating habits, I not only felt the difference physically, but mentally and spiritually as well. Plus, I had always wanted to try yoga and the P90X program was a great introduction to the practice as it was much more challenging than I thought yoga could ever be. So Erin and I started going to the YMCA in the summer of 2009 to further our yoga studies and branched out from there. Then this past summer I completed Insanity. It was grueling but well worth it. I wasn’t trying to get into better shape, just tackle an exercise regimen that was more cardio based. It turned out to be much more difficult than P90X, but again it was worth every second and drop of sweat because I felt I had accomplished something of value, that I had once again proven to myself that I can do anything I really set my mind (and in reality, all of me) to. And though these exercise programs worked well and garnered fantastic results physically, neither of them make me feel the way that yoga does. Yoga is holistic in that it benefits all three aspects, body, mind, and spirit, which is why this year is going to be the year of yoga.

            It wasn’t until this past school year started that I began to daily integrate yoga as part of my routine. Most of my students think it’s crazy that I wake up at 4:30 in the morning to do a light 30 minute yoga session to begin my day; in doing so I feel not only awake, but energized and poised to take on the day’s events and challenges. This year, however, I want to take that one step further. I still will wake for my mini-sessions in the morning to help me prepare for the day, but I want to also make sure I have at least 3 deep, hour-plus length sessions in the afternoons or on weekends. For most of 2010, I would often work out by popping in a P90X or Insanity routine a couple times a week and then do one quality yoga session for exercise with Erin about mid-week. This year, however, I would like to forego the traditional work out methods. I want to prove not only to myself but to others as well that yoga itself is more than sufficient as an exercise regimen. Some of my family, friends and students still cast a sidelong glance of disbelief when I tell them that I primarily do yoga to stay in shape—so this year will be a testament to the transformative power of yoga. No more P90X, no more Insanity, no more basketball on the weekends, just yoga.

            If you’ve been reading these letters, NIP, you know that I am and have been for some time now a staunch advocate for yoga. And while I do think it’s important for our well being as humans to engage in some type of exercise (and level of difficulty) that is appropriate for you and your needs, I truly believe yoga is the perfect exercise solution because it is literally for everyone. Yesterday Erin and I went to a yoga class that was taught by our favorite teacher, Sharon Summerall. The class had close to 20 participants comprised of both genders ranging in age from early 30s to late 60s. Anyone can do it as yoga is a personal, physical expression of who we are and what we are capable of. Your practice is based solely on your abilities, and the more you practice the better your abilities become.

The other reason I think yoga is the perfect exercise is that it’s complete. Yoga not only engages the physical, but our mental and spiritual aspects as well. Mentally speaking, yoga helps develop our focus and self-discipline, which also translates to success in other endeavors. Having a disciplined mind is crucial to developing our nascent dreams and transforming them into our personal realities. Spiritually speaking, yoga satisfies our creative energies and tendencies. The yoga poses in many ways become an expression of the best of who we are—or at least for me they do. They are the culmination of our beingness insofar as they engage all three aspects of what it means to be alive and a human being. There are moments—though fleeting at best—when I feel completely connected to life and everything that it entails. It is a certain stillness that is fraught with energy, tension, or a subtle vibration. It sounds paradoxical, but it is the only way I can try to convey this feeling with words (which, no matter how much we impregnate them with meaning, can never really capture the essence of what is trying to be explained). As I mentioned in an earlier letter about yoga, the word yoga comes from the Sanskrit term for “yoke,” which implies work in relation to beasts of burden. But the more I practice yoga, however, I see other connotations that are still just as valid, namely “union.” In the deepest moments of my practice, when my mind becomes completely still and every muscle fiber in my body feels engaged, the ineffable part of me—whether you want to label it soul or spirit—soars. I am not one for labels, as I feel they can only make the waters of intuitive, mystical understanding murky, but in these moments I feel a union with what the theologian Rudolf Otto calls the mysterium tremendum. These moments, for me, are the height of expression for what it means to be human, to be alive. I feel as if I have all of the answers and yet none. Words will only continue to betray me at this point, but I think we have all felt this at some point or another in our lives. It could have been a religious experience in the traditional sense, or something that simply took your breath away and left you feeling connected to life in some grand way. However you experienced it, NIP, I’m sure you can still recall that moment.

While I would suggest you try some yoga this year, NIP, it doesn’t necessarily have to be that. For you, it could be running or some other physical exercise that you prefer. Typically if it is an activity in which you feel you “lose yourself” it’s probably beneficial. If you’re passionate about it, it may still produce the same effects as what I have experienced with yoga. The most important thing to keep in mind is that New Year’s is not the only day for new beginnings—any day is. We often use New Year’s Day as a time of reflection on the past and commitments for the future, but in truth any day will do. They are all the same, after all. It’s what you’re willing to do moving forward with your life that truly matters. And if you are the type to make resolutions, don’t get down on yourself when you stumble and fall. We all stumble and fall, NIP. All you have to do is pick yourself back up and begin again. Each new day is another chance to become the best of who we are. It may be achieved through yoga, some other endeavor you’re passionate about, or a combination of multiple undertakings. No matter how you accomplish your personal growth, I hope today is the beginning of something fantastic and wonderful in your life, NIP. You have the power to do anything you want to do, provided you commit yourself to becoming the best of who you are. Remember to take on a little at a time, adding a bit more each day as you grow comfortable with and confident in your personal development. We all have a better version of ourselves locked inside of us. Let’s see if we can’t break it out in 2011.

Namaste, NIP.

- Ryan

P.S. – If you’ve never tried it, please take a yoga class and see how you feel—you won’t regret it, NIP!       

Metanoia

Good tidings NIP,

            I can’t believe 2010 is almost over. This year flew by for me. Did it seem the same to you? Many of my friends say theirs passed quickly too. Maybe it’s just that I’m getting older, or it could be that the pace of change seems to accelerate. Either way, I’ve gotten much better at taking it all in stride. I think I grew frustrated when I was younger because I didn’t want things to change; I had to have control. These last two years have taught me that I cannot control circumstances over which I have no influence. So I let them go. Now I choose to focus on what I know I can control—myself. In previous letters I mentioned how we are the sum of our choices and that if you want to change it is going to take effort. But the effort gets easier the more you learn to let go of the needless worries and focus on your mental self-discipline.

             To paraphrase Heraclitus, no person ever steps in the same river twice. It makes perfect sense. The water is never the same water you walked through the first time, but neither are you. We all change constantly, even on the cellular level. In fact, change is all we have. That’s Heraclitus’ point. By clinging to what we think we can control and preserve only harms us in the long run because we’ll never have the power to stop change. Though I can’t remember a specific epiphany two years ago, I’ve clearly experienced metanoia, as the ancient Greeks called it. Metanoia is literally “the changing of one’s mind,” but it has connotations of both spiritual awakening and repentance. I wish there had been some significant event like Jesus in the Jordan or Siddhartha under the Bodhi, but I don’t recall anything of the sort. I just remember a gut instinct that told me turning 33 was going to be a big year. Now it’s been more than 2 years and every day I feel that there’s just more work to be done. That I can become a better person than I am now. This began with that change of heart, that single decision to stop looking at the world so cynically. But from that moment on it has taken assiduous effort to nurture my personal development. By focusing on what is in our power to control—specifically our own perceptions and choices—we can harness the power of change and use it to better ourselves and the lives of others around us.

 

The realization of the need for change, however, is not enough. Many people want to change, but most of them never do. It all boils down to what the person gives: effort or excuses. As a seasoned teacher, it’s rather easy to discern someone’s level of effort. After a while, it becomes black and white. Some students give effort commensurate with their abilities whereas others have nothing to offer but excuses. It’s disheartening for me as a teacher because I am doing my best to lead by example, but I am satisfied in knowing that I am giving my all. That is how success should be measured; not dependent on a final result or whether a goal was surpassed or obtained, but how the result was achieved (i.e. was it done well?). Giving your personal best regardless of endeavor becomes a reward in and of itself. And if you have the good fortune to have your passion(s) and profession coincide, it is all that much easier to give your absolute best and fulfill your potential as a human being. We are all capable of great things, but it begins with believing in ourselves. That, I think, is the crux. We must possess self-confidence.

Prior to turning 30, I had plenty of self-doubt. I knew that I needed to change but hadn’t summoned the will to do so at that point. I had accrued the knowledge, not applied the wisdom. I certainly gave effort in areas of personal interest, but had nothing but excuses for entire areas of my life that I wasn’t willing to change. Erin then came into my life and her presence alone helped me change some of my more stubborn habits. But as these new changes came about in me, I began to realize that change wasn’t that hard to accomplish. Perhaps this is wrapped up in the way we view change initially. We often make change out to be more than it is. It’s not monumental and it doesn’t require herculean effort. While there will be times when these types of radical change do take place, they are often the collaborative effort of nearly imperceptible changes building up over time. Once we understand the nature of change as being continuous and infinitesimal, it is easier for us to let go and be a part of it. The duality we superimpose on life is a disservice because it only removes us from full participation with life. We live in a culture that prizes (and tries to cling to) youth, fame and wealth and yet each of these ideals is ephemeral. Why not work toward something meaningful? Why not change ourselves for the better and rely on our internal validation rather than transient external material signs of supposed success? My self-confidence has grown, ironically, by realizing I am not special. I may be an individual, but I am not that unique in a truly macrocosmic sense. Considering the insurmountable odds that went into me being here, thinking these thoughts and typing these words, the only way to be special is to honor this life, this precious gift we’ve all received. I don’t believe in much with any certainty, but I definitely feel we have a moral imperative to do justice to the life we have been given. We should not squander our time or effort in any way that does not promote the best of who we have the potential to become. Ultimately, though, we are the ones who must make the choice to see these changes through.

Whether we give effort or excuses is up to us and it is a matter of choice. In our lesser moments we may not see our excuses as choices, feeling instead that we are hemmed in by circumstance and compelled to choose them. But when you objectively take stock of the events, it was probably a lack of effort and/or bad choice in other areas that led to that conclusion. As you know, NIP, I am a big proponent of personal autonomy. I am a pragmatic existentialist, philosophically speaking, and to a certain extent I think we all are. We all recognize how our choices affect (and to a certain extent, effect) our lives, whether for good or bad. But I also think that I am a meliorist. Through our human endeavors, we can make the world a better place. Sure it may never be perfect, but the satisfaction is to be found in the pursuit of perfection, in the striving. In making excuses for lack of personal growth a person is literally missing out on what makes life so great. Excuses only put off the struggle, the striving. But it’s when we grapple, wrangle, and contend with life that we feel the most alive. The worst part of all is that by not wrestling with life we become stagnant and mired in our own mediocrity. This in turn creates more excuses, perpetuating a cycle of victimhood. All it takes, though, is that initial choice to accept change and the realization that the effort required will be incessant. You don’t have to undergo an instant metamorphosis, just begin with the single thing you feel needs to change the most. Start there and simply try to expand your comfort zone. Much like the life we are carving for ourselves, improvements come incrementally over long periods. In time your efforts will become automatic and you’ll realize that there is always some aspect that needs improving. And when you are focused on becoming the best of who you can be, NIP, you won’t have any time for excuses, that’s for sure.

I hope these words find you and your family sharing peace and prosperity during this holiday season, NIP. It’s not often we have the opportunity to gather with the most important people in our lives, so be sure to enjoy the time with yours. New Year’s Day is just around the corner and though I am not one for making resolutions, perhaps 2011 could be the beginning of a new you, NIP. If there is something in your life that you don’t like, change it. This is our one chance to become who we are. Let’s not live a life of regret when it is within our power to avoid it entirely. We are who we think we are. If you believe that you have something to offer this world, it is your duty to become that better person and show others who you are and what you are capable of. I was afraid to show that to people for far too long. Looking back on it now, I don’t know what I was ever worried about…

Be the change, NIP!

- Ryan

Tipping the Scales

NIP,

            It’s been a while since I last had the time to write. I apologize about that but you know how life can be. Busy. We all probably have very busy lives, and as I mentioned in the previous letter we must pay attention to how we spend our most precious commodity, time. The more I thought about this, the more I realized that it’s not simply a matter of what we spend our time on, but how diverse and productive the activities are. It may be a platitude to say “all things in moderation,” but that doesn’t negate its validity. We must learn to balance our lives in order to find the best of ourselves, in order to become who we are. It took me a many years of tipping the scales before I ever realized what I had been doing. We all go through growing pains, but that’s part of the beauty of life—the perceived good and bad. As we move on, we try to cobble some wisdom from these experiences and move forward with our personal growth. Here’s a little bit I’ve put together so far…

            We all have a tendency to tip the scales, metaphorically speaking. Most of the time we’re not even aware we’re doing it. It could be our professional lives overrunning our personal lives, or vice versa. It could be eating too much unhealthful food and not enough exercise. It could be a whole lot of things. When this happens, it’s only natural that we begin to feel miserable and—at least for me—often try to rectify this disposition by tipping the scales in the other direction. A friend once told me that my greatest strength is that if I become interested in something, I’m all in. But—the downside is—once I feel I’ve mastered it, I’d move on to something else, thereby making me a sort of jack-of-all-trades. I still don’t know if that’s good or bad, but I’ve learned to temper this by trying to live a more balanced life in the here and now. That definitely wasn’t the case 12 years ago when I first arrived from Rhode Island.

When I moved to Florida, all I cared about was the physical aspect of my life. I had lost a good deal of the weight and was closing in on my high school weight, but then I became a gym rat. I just wanted to work out, all the time. And I don’t mean work out to lose more weight, I actually wanted to eat like a horse and see how big I could get. By January of 1999, I was back up to 240, although more muscular than before I weighed the same amount. Then came my Hapkido training. Within a month I had lost 20 pounds from not working out 6 days a week and eating like a maniac. Again the pendulum had swung. My training lasted for many years, but by the time I enrolled at USF in early 2001 I had really buckled down on my academics. Slowly, the physical gave way to the mental aspect of living and I found myself enamored by learning. It wasn’t that I didn’t enjoy what I learned while at HCC, but USF was the real deal, a university. Something clearly blossomed in me during those years, as they left an indelible impression on me by augmenting my hunger for knowledge and understanding. Learning became the all. I felt complete within the walls of Cooper Hall. Wanting to share my love for learning, I became a teacher but within the first 3 years or so I felt as if I was beginning to lose my bearings. I probably would have not carried on in the profession if it weren’t for Erin, because meeting her turned it all around.

The first seven years—or perhaps all of the years of my life up to that point—had been an exercise in tipping the scales. The more I think back on it now, this is true even of my earliest youth. I would become interested in this or that and chase it down until I got bored and moved on to something else, always paying too much attention to my current craze and not enough to anything else. Then, about two years ago, significant personal development began to happen. I realized that it was because I had finally learned to make time for everything that’s important to me and to strike a delicate balance. However, I ultimately learned it’s not the quantity of time one puts into all of one’s pursuits but the quality. Equally crucial is that there needs to be something for every aspect of your life, physical, mental, and spiritual. Over the past couple of years, I’ve felt most alive because I’ve tried to maximize my life’s potential in all areas. I know my well-being is undoubtedly derived from the synergistic effects of living such an integrated, balanced life. And the best part about it is that anyone can live this way too.

The physical is perhaps the easiest to deal with, which may be why we put it off on the back burner in our culture. Between the “food” most people eat and the sedentary lifestyle America engenders, combined with “our a-pill-will-solve-your-problems” culture, it’s easy to see why this usually goes to the wayside. Work, family, and other daily pressures must be handled accordingly before even thinking about exercise for most people. But as I learned, it’s all in what vines you’re willing to prune away from your life. Is it really necessary that I follow a certain television show? Does anything on TV really add to the meaning of my life? I’m probably enjoying my time in this moment sharing the silence of the room with Erin as we work more than watching anything on television. If you are willing to cut out what is truly unnecessary, you’ll find a lot more time to focus on the things that are important. Health is certainly one of them. But again, it’s about balance. Erin and I slowly weaned ourselves off of conventional food before going organic; and even if you don’t want to buy organic food, you can still make better food choices even with conventional foods. As far as exercise, start off light. Even just going for a walk works wonders. Great change comes incrementally. Just keep chipping away and you’ll start to notice how much better you feel.

The mental aspect is perhaps the one that’s always working out of necessity, but we still must make time to alternatively let it relax and push it to grow. Reading—as anyone who is reading these letters clearly knows—is great exercise for the mind, especially if you’re a literary explorer. I’ve been reading lots of philosophy lately because I enjoy having to really think through what I am reading. I think all good books, certainly our favorites, engage us in that way. Our imagination is ignited by the author’s words, which linger for days after we’re done yet still thinking about them. And while any mental task that focuses the mind for extended periods of time is undoubtedly good, I’ve become a staunch advocate of meditation. The reason I love meditation so much is due to my pragmatic nature. Having a limited amount of time, I need to do something that is both relaxing and stimulating. I know that it sounds paradoxical, but there is no other way to explain it. By choosing a single focus during meditation, you’re stimulating the mind, yet you’re also relaxing by blocking out the rest of your typical mental noise. What’s more, meditation’s effects tremendously enhance your focus in every other moment, making you more productive and ultimately saving you time in the long run. Time you can use for other important areas in your life.

And then there are the matters of the spirit. While this word is typically confined to the realm of religion, I have a much broader, humanistic conception of spirit in the context of daily living. Essentially, it’s whatever makes us tick that we can’t explain. There is something within all of us that makes us unique, the stone at the base of the pillar upon which we are built. It drives us in ways that on some levels we probably aren’t even aware. It defines us and it needs to be nourished regularly. I can’t tell you what does this for you, NIP, only you know what it is. My writing is certainly one outlet for my spirit. It’s an exercise in trying to express the ineffable. It may appear to be a fool’s errand, but as I’m sure you know by now it’s about striving. I think all forms of art do this, whether music, painting, sculpting, etc. Whatever your creative outlet is, you need to set aside some time for it. By giving life to our most foundational truths in ways that we ourselves can barely comprehend, we become alive in a way that even the word alive fails at describing.

 

 It may be difficult to juggle all of these demands initially, but the more you learn to incorporate your physical, mental, and spiritual needs into your daily routine, the easier the balancing act becomes. I probably only devote an hour a day to the physical and spiritual, as work and everything else in between keeps me mentally engaged, but that time spent pursuing those ends is well worth every second. It may not be a true balance in the sense of time spent quantitatively, but the integration of all aspects makes me feel whole in a way that I’ve never experienced before. It enhances my enjoyment of life in ways that I cannot even begin to describe. All I can suggest, NIP, is that you try to bring harmony to your life and see how much it improves. And if it does, be sure to teach others what you’ve learned.

Stay balanced, NIP!

- Ryan

Our Most Precious Commodity

Dear NIP,

            Americans are such busy people. We pride ourselves on it, I think, because of our industriousness. It’s part of our ethos, what makes us unique. Over the last half century or so, modern technological innovations were supposed to give us more leisure time. Time that would ideally be spent wisely by pursuing that which matters most in our lives: being with our family and friends and hopefully pursuing a passion that brings fulfillment and meaning to our lives. But the American work ethic won’t let us do this. The more free time we’ve managed to create through said technological innovation, the more that innovation allows us to slave away outside the confines of our proper workplace. What’s worse, in our restlessness to stay busy or feel productive we often waste our most precious commodity by engaging in pursuits that do not help us grow as people.

            While we often think of economics in terms of money, perhaps we should take a step back and examine our own personal economies, especially our time. The term economy comes from the ancient Greek word οiκoς, which means “house” and nomoς, which means “order” (derived from the verb “to manage”). Therefore, the term economy literally means to manage one’s house or household. In our busy lives, we have a tendency to let the vicissitudes of daily life get in the way of properly managing our limited commodity. Think about how we even phrase the language of time. We “spend” time on something, or if we don’t want to it’s because “we can’t afford” the time. We have to learn to find the time for what is most important in our lives; if we don’t, we run the risk of wasting time because of lack of will, focus, or both. By dedicating our most precious resource toward something that will bring meaning and fulfillment in our lives, it is actually an investment in your remaining time as well.

            The biggest complaint I often hear from people—either from adult friends or my students—is that they are “too” busy to find any additional time in their schedules. That from the moment they wake until the moment they sleep, their days are an incessantly grueling hodge-podge of activities that constantly demand their attentions. I ask them to write it down. Write all of it down, no matter how trivial the action may be. I’ve done this with my students and I’ll start pointing out gaps in their timelines. What did you do from 3-3:30? Oh. Hung out with friends and texted people waiting for band practice to start? Why not do some of your homework then? When people start writing out their lists, they often find that there are plenty of moments that could have been directed toward something more productive. 

            A personal example for me would be video games. A little more than a year ago, I still played them. Sure I didn’t play them that much, but I bet 2-3 hours a week were devoted to keeping up with a season of basketball on my Xbox 360. It may not seem like much then, but that’s 100 plus hours over the course of a year. That’s over 4 days! Extrapolate that over my lifetime and I bet I’ve wasted months (if not years up to this point) on something that will never help me grow as a person nor appreciate life for its innate beauty. Lately, my most current hang up has been the internet. I don’t spend much time “surfing” and there are probably fewer than a dozen sites in my browsing history, but I’m making a concerted effort to stay away from it as much as possible because it is another place where time just seems wasted. I’ve even gone so far as to put sticky notes all over my computer monitor at work to help me stay focused. The questions ask things like “Are you being productive?”; “Are you focused on school?”; “Is your desk clean?” While I may not have more than a few spare minutes throughout the day, if I am spending those thriftlessly by reading the news when I have papers to grade, I am ultimately reducing the amount of time that I have for more important things in life like giving Erin the undivided attention she deserves.

            
            The first step to becoming more productive and making the most of your best commodity is to make time for your passion(s). If that means something else has got to give, then it’s got to give. Begin with writing out everything that is part of your normal routine. If you don’t see anything that can be cut out of that routine (be honest with yourself!), then start to think about the time spent between those “necessary” activities. You’ll probably find moments when you are just filling gaps of time by doing nothing important (surfing the internet aimlessly rather than deepening your passion for something, for instance). The reason you’re better off devoting a certain amount of time to your passion(s) is due to the fact that your interests will ultimately pay dividends. For someone like me who has varied interests, it becomes a balancing act. In some ways, you have to prioritize your passions in order of importance by recognizing which one will have the most benefits. While writing these letters and trying to help others is certainly one passion of mine, I cannot devote endless amounts of time to it. I try my best to make sure I write at least one letter every two weeks, and if my schedule allows such accommodations (like this week), I try to write more. Additionally, this particular passion doesn’t require constant application. I think about a topic during the two week interlude, sit down for about two hours and type, and voila! A new letter.

            
            My real passion—besides my love for Erin, of course—is for yoga and meditation. This is something that I need every day. Moreover, this is something that I must find the time for every day. Over the last year, I have been meditating every day. Yoga didn’t happen every day until the current school year began. At first I would try to fit in my half hour of meditation whenever I could, but I was getting up at about 5:30 and trying to fit that in along with the rest of the morning routine such as walking the dogs, eating breakfast, getting ready for work and everything in between. It was difficult and I was getting to school on some mornings right when the bell rang. The other issue at hand was that it was difficult to meditate early in the morning when I was still half asleep. So, as an experiment,  I began getting up an hour earlier—essentially finding the time that so many complain doesn’t exist—to perform a short, 30 minute yoga routine prior to my meditation. I cannot begin to explain the difference that it has made nor properly extol the benefits that this has had on not only me personally, but for my overall productivity as well. I feel so much more awake and alive by the time I get to school, mainly because of the yoga. Though 30 minutes may not sound like much, just stretching out my stiff muscles, beginning my day by breathing deeply, and getting my blood flowing before heading upstairs to meditate makes that activity all the more enjoyable and fruitful. This initial hour that I have to clear my mind and focus on a specific objective (breathing during yoga, the object of my thoughts during meditation, etc) translates to an unparalleled awareness of my thoughts and overall productivity throughout the workday. By having the ability to stay focused, I am consciously responsive to those moments that I know are being wasted and rectify my actions in order to make the most out of my most precious commodity.

            
            As Winifred Gallagher notes in Rapt: Attention and the Focused Life, it is our ability to focus that determines how productive we are (and a whole lot else too). By spending time on passions that will help us develop a sense of the good life, of a life filled with meaning, we are making an investment in our future happiness. While yoga and meditation are passionate pursuits for me, for you, NIP, it could be playing music, gardening, running, or some other activity. If it’s something that you feel you “get lost in,” as the saying goes, then you are giving that activity such undivided attention that it is actually improving your ability to focus. In many ways, strengthening your ability to focus will make you more productive in other areas of your life. It’s a reciprocal process. By focusing on your passion(s), you gain more “focus”; because your focus has become stronger, you finish projects more efficiently and quickly, which leaves you with more free time to pursue your passion, which improves your focus…you get the idea.

            
            As your focus improves and you spend more of your time on your passions, you’ll probably come to realize not only how truly important time is, but how little we have. The more I mulled this letter over in my mind this past week, the more I kept conjuring up an image in my mind during meditation: me, clambering up and down a pile of skulls, looking for mine. I’d pick one up, scrutinize it, and throw it back on the pile, dissatisfied that it wasn’t mine. I didn’t try to conjure up this image, it just came to me (the mind is funny like that). It has stuck with me all this week, even after I have completed my meditation. I believe I could never find my skull because I am still alive, but I’m not sure. It may sound morbid or even macabre to most, but in meditating on death we have the ability to rise above it and live life with a sense of excitement and urgency. Moreover, it helps us preserve that which is important and crucial to our lives by not taking life and all that it has to offer for granted. Living in the moment with the knowledge that death could take this incredible gift away at any second helps us stay focused on our passions. We never know how much time we’ve been allotted; seems like we should make the most of every second of it.

Be sure to spend yours wisely, NIP.

- Ryan