Sweet Santosha

Salve NIP,

            I hope everything in your life is going well. Though I’m exhausted and eagerly awaiting the coming spring break from school, I have no real complaints to lodge. Life just keeps surprising me and it only seems to get better. Not only was I selected to be my school’s Teacher of the Year, I recently received the title of Healthiest Person in Tampa Bay from HealthyState.org. I hope that when the story airs on the radio and debuts online that it will help others realize that they too can achieve their goals, whether they be weight-loss or personal growth oriented. As with any worthwhile pursuit, it takes patience and persistence. Now that Erin and I are certified yoga instructors, our new project for this year is to learn Spanish together. Nosotros estámos aprendiendo español y estudiamos diario. We did about 45 minutes worth of studying today, on top of taking Cleo on a couple of nice walks, running a few errands, and doing work for school. Much of the time today I kept reflecting on how genuinely happy I am. But the more I reflected on my happiness, the more I realized it was directly related to my contentedness.

            If you had asked me 15 years ago, I would have told anyone that the worst thing in the world one could possibly be is “content.” In my youth, I equated being content with lying down and dying, that contentment meant giving up. Happiness, as the Founding Fathers had informed me, was to be pursued. There was no guarantee that I would ever receive it, but it is a necessary part of the struggle. Now that I’m “40ish”—as my beautiful wife dubbed me the other day—I think the pursuit is misleading. It seems that happiness is a by-product of pursuing greater ends and, all told, not much of a pursuit at all. If anything, it seems that happiness is a lot more easily found if we are willing to sit still. My happiness has grown incalculably from becoming more content with my life each and every day. The most absurd part of it all is that the less I want, the more I have. Once I learned to appreciate the abundance in my life, my contentment—and by extension my happiness—began to truly bloom. One of the niyamas or “personal observances” on the yogic path is santosha, which is often translated as satisfaction or contentment. To me, it is the most important of the five because without it we can never achieve even a moment of mental clarity. Our culture constantly bombards us with messages that if we don’t have this or that we are utter failures in one sense or another, but it is our job to always remind ourselves that we already have untold wealth in other forms.

            If I were to enumerate all of the things that I have that are directly responsible for my contentment, none of them would be things at all. Not in a material sense, at any rate. I am married to an incredible woman who is “the bedrock of my being,” as I recently told her in a poem I wrote for Valentine’s; I have an amazing family who continually supports me in all that I do; I have an awesome job at a great school, one that supplies me each year with a fresh batch of young minds with whom I do my best to positively influence; I have a great schedule that allows me to discuss issues that I am most passionate about. I’m sure the list could go on for much longer, but you probably understand by now. As I share with my AP Human Geography students almost every day, we live in a developed country and so we really shouldn’t complain when we don’t get what we want because almost every single one of us has what we need. Heck, if you’re reading this right now, it means you’re online and have access to a computer—something that 75% of the people around the world can’t do because they’re still practicing subsistence agriculture to feed their families. The curious thing about those people, though, is how happy they are. Perhaps they know no better because they don’t live in a consumption based economy (yet), but they sure know how to focus on what they do have: clothing on their backs, a roof over their heads, food in their bellies, and love in their family.

            What more could we ask for, NIP? Nothing. And it’s not because there aren’t other things (whether intangible or material) that can enhance our lives—it’s because asking is in essence wanting, and wanting only prohibits the fostering of contentment. Focus on what truly matters in your life and constantly work on reducing what you perceive as a “need.” Thoreau’s dictum of “Simplify! Simplify!” has spurred me on for the last few years, always leaving me to ponder, “what else can I eliminate from my routine?” The more I strip away the frivolities, the more I recognize the abundance in my life from which I had been distracted. A lot of people want to be rich but they don’t realize that they already are. It doesn’t take much. Just a willingness to cultivate our sense of contentment by constantly being grateful for what we have. Believe me, happiness will pursue you.

In gratitude,

- Ryan

Slow Down

How’ve you been, NIP?

            It’s been a while since I last discussed physical health, and I wanted to do so today because of the interest in “The H Diet.” A couple of months ago, our school newspaper did a feature on me in an effort to promote healthy lifestyle choices. Since that time, many co-workers and students who have heard about “The H Diet” (that’s what the student journalist titled her piece) but missed the article have asked me what the diet entails. And while the list is actually quite short, it’s not so much about what I do or don’t eat—although that is a crucial aspect to some degree—it’s more about taking the time to invest in better eating habits in a number of ways. The easiest way for me to describe the secret to the way I eat is simple and can be expressed in two words: slow down.

            The first step to making this commitment is realizing that changing one’s diet isn’t about a short-term weight loss goal but rather a long-term health commitment. By and large Americans hear the word diet and think it is a tool to shed those unwanted pounds for aesthetic value. While this certainly affects our self-image, it’s perhaps best to focus primarily on our health instead of our weight. If you’re in for the long haul and want to better your eating habits overall, losing the weight will come naturally. As I mentioned in a much older letter (“Exodus”), the more I learned about agribusiness and our industrialized food system, the more I eliminated certain ingredients from my diet. Therefore, “The H Diet” is simple in the sense that there are three “must avoids”: High Fructose Corn Syrup, Hydrogenated Oils, and Enriched Flour. If you want to know why those are so bad for you, NIP, just consult the aforementioned letter. The other items on the list are the “try-to avoids”: artificial flavors, artificial sweeteners, artificial colors…basically anything artificial. So how does slowing down help us? By reading labels. The first step I always suggest to anyone is to begin reading labels. If it has any one of the three “must avoids,” just eliminate it from your diet. Yes, this means you’ll probably never be able to open a bag or a box again and start munching, but most of those foods that are highly processed are only empty calories anyway. The other tip that I have in this regard is that if it has more than 5 ingredients (except for complex carbs like breads or pastas), you probably don’t want to eat it. People often scoff at this idea asking “what does that leave me to eat?” Primarily a whole foods diet, really. You know, stuff that grows out of the ground rather than being made on an assembly line.

            The second step to slowing down is taking the time to plan and prepare your meals.  Far too many people rely on fast food. Not only is it extremely detrimental to your health, it impacts your wallet too. Most people believe that fast food is cheap and convenient when in actuality it’s neither. I’ve done the math and on an average day Erin and I eat 3 good meals with snacks in between each of those meals for a total of $15 or under. A couple could easily spend that much on two “value” meals at a fast food restaurant—and that’s only one meal! Additionally, preparing meals allows you to have leftovers, which typically translates to an even lower food bill. Many naysayers tell me that they simply “don’t have the time” to which I counter with “if it’s important enough to you, you’ll find the time.” The fiscal part of the equation, though, wins over a lot of people—especially people living on a strict budget. The other refutation I often hear is that eating organic food is too expensive. Again, this is a fallacy for several reasons, not the least of which is conventional food is effectively subsidized by all taxpayers, only rendering the illusion of it costing less. Most Americans eat far too many calories as it is, and if one were to eat the right proportions and eliminate wasteful spending on junk/snack/highly processed foods eating organic foods can fit within most budgets. Plus, as I always tell my students, you can still make better choices with conventionally produced food (e.g. why not have an apple rather than a bag of Cheetos?).

            The third step is my favorite: it’s actually slowing down while you eat. Not only will this allow your stomach time to send the “I’m full” signal to your brain, but you’ll end up eating less food overall. But more importantly, if you’re eating mindfully it’s a much more enjoyable experience. Many psychologists and nutritionists agree that the vast majority of eating disorders stem from stress and/or emotions. Americans turn to food for a sense of comfort rather than fuel. But you can have both, to be honest. While I primarily see it as fuel, I take comfort in food too. In fact, I relish just about every bite I eat—especially my peanut butter and honey on whole wheat sandwich. Without fail, I eat this every single day during the workweek for lunch. Not only is it inexpensive (about 85 cents per sandwich, I’ve calculated it), it’s filling and delicious. I usually begin my lunch by taking a few deep breaths and thinking about the sandwich, admiring the texture of the wheat bread, the aroma of the sandwich as a whole, and considering all that made the sandwich possible—from the sun that grew the wheat, the farmers who raised the peanuts, the beekeepers who procured the honey from the hives, to the delivery people who bring it to the store. This entire web of interconnectivity makes me deeply grateful for a simple sandwich and only enhances the experience when I take that first bite. A student caught me looking at my sandwich in this way one day before eating it and he asked me if I was saying grace. I responded with “sort of” and told him about mindful eating and since that time he said he’s been doing it too. Even something as simple as slowing down while we’re eating can make all the difference.

            We live in a society that is always scurrying around looking for quick fixes, but the real remedy is to actually take our time. Slowing down is not only crucial for our eating habits, but our overall health as well. Changing one’s diet should be a gradual process because healthy living is a long term goal, not something that can be found in a pill or a frozen Lean Cuisine entrée. Students, co-workers, friends, and family have seen my before and after photos (you can see them on the “Genesis” letter) and cannot believe how different I look. What I wish I could truly share, however, is how I feel physically. Once I gave up eating fast food and highly processed “food” completely, I noticed a tremendous difference in the way I felt. It’s hard to put into words what eating well can do for you, NIP, so I’ll leave you with the same challenge I give to anyone else—try it. Try to slow down for 30 days by eliminating those ingredients, preparing your own meals, and taking the time to appreciate your food while consuming it. The people who have gone on to actually change their diet for a month all told me how much better they felt. See for yourself—what else have you got to lose?

Here’s to your health, NIP!

- Ryan  

Believe!

Como estas, NIP?

            One of my goals this year is to make these letters more accessible by coming straight to the point. I promise to do my best by keeping them under 1,000 words, which will hopefully translate into at least two letters a month. Even though school is back in session I’ve managed to keep up the momentum in my reading, especially in the area of spiritual/wisdom writings. One passage in particular from Merton has been haunting my memory for weeks now, which deals directly with today’s letter:

If a writer is so cautious that he never writes anything that cannot be criticized, he will never write anything that can be read. If you want to help other people you have got to make up your mind to write things that some men will condemn.

In homage to the chapter of New Seeds of Contemplation from which this brief passage hails, I have decided to break from the standard letter format and instead compose a list, a statement of beliefs, along with a terse explanation of said beliefs. You may or may not agree with them, NIP, but I feel it will help explain me as a person in the fewest words possible.

I believe in myself and my dreams—while this isn’t necessarily the most important belief, it’s the first one. We must learn to believe in ourselves if we ever want to accomplish any dream and/or goal. By believing in yourself with earnestness, NIP, you can foster incredible change in your life. And once you begin to realize these changes, you’ll find it much easier to believe in other aspects of your life/dreams.

I believe in holistic health—to be healthy means not only physically fit, but mentally and spiritually fit as well. For the physical, eat healthfully and get regular exercise (yoga, anyone?); for the mental, engage in an activity that focuses the mind (meditation works wonders and is simpler than most make it out to be); for the spirit, pursue what you’re most passionate about, whether it be creating works of art, making music, rigorous philosophical questioning, or contemplation of religious mysteries. To some degree, once the mind and body become healthy, the spirit expands naturally. This life is the only one you get, NIP; why not do your best to care for it?

I believe in helping others—once we take care of ourselves and our individual lives become ordered and streamlined, the real work begins. The most important thing we can do in this life is help other people. We all struggle from time to time, and I’m sure you can recall a time when that helping hand was not only invaluable but made all the difference in the world. I try my best to always help others in any way I can, whether it’s as a teacher at school, as a neighbor around our home, or as a faceless writer putting words to a screen in the hopes that it helps you, NIP. Helping is the highest calling.

I believe in establishing meaningful human relationships—human beings are social creatures by nature and the best connections we make in this life are genuine, heartfelt relationships we create between one another. Some of them will last forever, others will be ephemeral. Regardless of duration, we must do our best to be authentic in the relationships while they are vital. Life is too short to be disingenuous or, worse yet, duplicitous. We must enter into relationships with other people with love, compassion, gratitude, generosity and patience if we are ever to foster a meaningful relationship between ourselves and others.

I believe God is Life/Life is God—I try not to get wrapped up in labels. I feel that they’re limiting and only muddle intuitive wisdom. I’ve studied enough religion and science to know that to exclude one worldview in preference for the other is foolish. Both are legitimate though limited attempts to make this miraculous gift of life comprehensible to the human mind—which is a massive mistake. To attempt to crystallize the experience of living by putting it into an intelligible string of words cannot come close to experience itself. Moreover, once we’re dealing with words rather than raw experience, we are stuck in the realm of semantics, which is where I’d leave both labels (Life/God) behind. Who knows? Perhaps I am becoming a mystic, seeking a direct encounter with the sacred in each and every moment. I’m certainly not religious in the conventional sense, but I secretly feel that I’m more religious than most conventionally religious people. The false dichotomy fostered by the Western religious paradigm is only a barrier to our spiritual growth. There is so much that we simply don’t know and to stick to conventional explanations—whether religious or scientific—is not only intellectual hubris, but it puts limits on our experiences while living this incredible life as a human being.

            Belief is crucial to being human. To not believe in anything is a serious mistake and will only undercut our potential and progress. William James, the American philosopher of whom I spoke a few letters ago, was also America’s first great psychologist. He insisted that the “will to believe” is perhaps the most crucial part of our psychological make-up. In order to be mentally healthy, we must subscribe to beliefs that motivate us to become better people. Your beliefs may not be the same as mine, NIP, but so long as they foster positivity and an authentic life they are worthwhile. As someone who constantly doubted himself for the first 30 years of life, I can attest that the power of belief has the ability to fundamentally alter us for the better. It won’t happen overnight, but with patience and persistence you will start to feel more confident in your thoughts, words and actions. And once you have changed your life for the better, how will you use it to help others do the same?

Believe, NIP—Believe!

- Ryan

Turn the Page

Happy New Year, NIP!

            Hope your holidays were filled with family, friends, and fun. Mine have been brimming with all of those to some degree, but more than anything Erin and I took time this winter break to catch our breath and get prepared for the spring semester at school. For me personally, it’s been a time for lots of yoga, meditation, reflection, and reading. Since the break began I made it a point to spend a few hours each day with my face in a book, mainly because I had little (if any) time to read during the fall semester with the tumult of life these past four months. These last two weeks, then, have been luxurious: I’ve been reading several different non-fiction pieces, picking up quantum mechanics and cosmology one day (Hidden Reality) and spiritual sustenance and wisdom the next (Seeds, Shambhala). I actually wanted to see if I could finish four books in that time, but it looks like Meister Eckhart will have to wait.

All of this reading—in conjunction with it being the New Year—has had me thinking about something one of my Religious Studies professors used to say about human beings: we are storytellers. It probably doesn’t take much thought on your part, NIP, to recognize this and see yourself in this light, because we all are. We relate ourselves to the world and others through a personal narrative arc, telling other people (and often ourselves in our own minds) our perceptions of how any given event in our lives has transpired and shaped us as individuals. Though being storytellers as a species might not be groundbreaking news, Dr. Fasching also asserted something else: not only are we storytellers, we are storydwellers. While just about everyone agrees that we do in fact tell stories, many people might not necessarily see how we live within them. To a certain degree, the narratives that we compose are inextricably linked to who we will become as people. If we tell others and ourselves that we are victims of circumstance, fate or any other external influence, our personal story will play out that way. It will always be someone or something holding you back because that’s the story you live out through your choices and perceptions. If we see ourselves as the authors of our own destinies, though, we get to write the narrative. Does this mean there won’t be setbacks? Challenges? Struggles? Of course not! Who would want to read that story? We want stories populated with heroes who accomplish amazing feats...and that can always be you, NIP, if you’re willing to turn the page.

We often view New Year’s as a time to pause and reflect on the past year in its totality, celebrating our successes, understanding our failures, and recognizing the areas in which we need to improve. As the author of our destinies, this moment in time metaphorically represents a new chapter in our lives. But to some degree, this view is a mistake. New Year’s, in some respect, fools us into thinking that this is the only time to do this. While it is a convenient psychological bridge between the year that’s been completed and the one that is beginning, I think we miss the point because we get hung up on the artificial reference point. We treat New Year’s as if it had some special significance in relation to turning the page in our own personal narratives, as if it were the only moment pregnant with potential to begin anew. But that’s simply not true...

If I were to ask you what time it is, NIP, what would you say? Would you glance at the clock on the computer screen, look up at a watch or some other time piece in the vicinity? Maybe come up with a generic answer such as morning, afternoon, evening, or night? The answer to the question is simple, and there is only one answer any time someone asks. It is now. Now might not seem so special to you. In fact, now is not too special to anyone. We do our best to avoid now by getting unduly attached to a past we cannot alter or fretting over a future that we have yet to create, all in our minds. We also do our best to avoid now by diverting our attentions to endeavors that have no practical value or meaning for the narrative we are weaving. Worse yet, when we avoid now we are passive participants in our own story, often allowing circumstances to dictate our actions. But to acknowledge now and use it for your benefit is to become the active author, the one who realizes that so long as she or he continues to scribe that every moment is pregnant with potential, not just New Year’s.

By learning to pay attention to now we begin to witness the blossoming of life that is constantly happening all around us. Any writer who is worth his or her salt also has an observant eye. Be watchful in all that you do, NIP. Start paying more attention to now and see how much easier it is to write/live your story. There is no reason to wait for New Year’s or any other specific fictionally demarcated moment in time to begin. All that does is force us to feel stuck and/or powerless in our situation and further delay the positive changes that are most necessary for our personal growth as human beings. But in learning to be present, to pay attention to the moment we are experiencing rather than trying to escape to some other in our minds, allows the potential in that moment to become palpable. We no longer feel inextricably bound to any given page of our personal narrative; instead, we realize that at any moment is ripe for rebirth. Why wait for New Year’s or any other time to begin turning your life around? We only have so much time in life, NIP, and the amount allotted to each of us is unknown. Why wait any longer to turn the page?

Now is—and forever will be—the time to begin...

- Ryan