How’s your life going, NIP?
Goodness
gracious! I can’t believe it has been a full year and a half since I have
written a letter to you. I knew that when I signed off temporarily back in
January of 2014 I would always write again, but I figured it would be
occasional at least. Time has a funny way of slipping by when we are highly
engaged in other pursuits, and though I pondered topics for letters during my hiatus (many of which I will get to in the coming months), I never got around
to them mainly because I have been so consumed with reading books during that time span.
So there definitely has been much learning, loving and laughing over that 18
month gap, all of which has changed me for the better and which I hope to
convey through these newer letters that I intend to write. And while there is
too much ground to cover in a single letter, I guess I should begin with a few essential
pieces of news that will set the tone for this and future letters. But the most
critical point to know is that I am definitely back and motivated.
I suppose the
biggest reason I have taken the time to finally sit down and pen this
electronic missive and send it off into the great unknown sea of anonymity
(a.k.a the Internet) is two-fold: 1) primarily because I love writing and it
has been a growing itch that I knew I would need to scratch at some point; 2)
for the last few months L.U.G. (Life/Universe/God, an idea I will explain soon
enough—perhaps in the next letter) has kept sending me signals that I needed to
get back to this and that these letters have had some value in the lives of
others. Take the last three of these instances, for example, all of which
happened within a single week: Erin and I run into a friend from our yoga
teacher training of four years ago while at Petsmart. One of the first things
she asked was if I had planned on writing any more letters on my blog, and then
went on to say that she still returns here every so often to gain some perspective
and/or inspiration. To be honest, hearing this made my heart melt and ache at the
same time because I felt good knowing I have made a difference to someone by
writing these letters, and yet guilty for not having kept up with them. The
second instance was when one of my best friends texted me to wish me a happy
birthday, she began by saying “a wise man once said” and then proceeded to
quote one of my earliest letters from 5 years ago. And the third instance was
when my two brothers were here last weekend, and my youngest asked me out of
the blue, “What’s up with LOETONIP? Are you ever going to write more letters?”
All right, L.U.G., I get the point.
And BAM!
Here I am. Back and motivated. I have a lot to say and the letters may get even
more personal and slightly crazier from here on out, but I truly hope to write
at least one per month, if only to help clarify my own thinking and perspective
on weighty matters concerning life and living well. For the remainder of this
epistle, though, I really want to focus on two reasons on why I feel this way
and am ready to begin a new chapter in my life (and by extension, our life, as
most of you long-time readers know, I am nothing without the presence and
persistent love, support, and encouragement of my wonderful wife, Erin). The
first impetus has to do with having recently turned 40 years old, and the second
motive is directly due to my new career path.
Last Saturday
I turned 40. Leading up to this momentous milestone, I had been reflecting
on the past decade, taking into perspective both my personal and professional
growth over that time. Meeting, falling in love with, and marrying Erin is
easily the biggest thing that happened to me thus far in my time and will
undoubtedly be so for the rest of our lives together. I have a deep
overwhelming sense of gratitude for her presence alone, as well as each and every
experience we have shared together. I won’t recap much more than that because
it’s in earlier letters and, without trying to sound like a reductionist
(Heavens no!), everything else in many ways comes back to her. I love her with
all my heart and mind, especially for pulling off one of the greatest birthday
surprises in my life.
After not
having spent more than a single day alone with my two brothers in over seven
years, Brad and Greg showed up last Friday afternoon, slowly rolling by in a
rented Dodge Charger with Greg leaning out the window yelling, “Break yo self,
fool!” I turned around with a huge grin on my face at hearing his voice, and
quickly ran up the walk to drop my bags at the door. I was taken aback by them
showing up, but deep down in my gut I had an intuition that it was going to
happen. I had been thinking about it for some time, even mentioning to Erin
that being with them was the one thing I wanted more than anything else for my
40th birthday. As it so happened, she had been conspiring with the
two of them to make it manifest.
 |
| My Brothers: Brad (on my left) and Greg (on my right) |
Much of the
weekend was spent just hanging out like when we were kids, which was really
nice. No stress, no pressure, we just let the moment come to us and enjoy it. We
went to dinner at Ford’s Garage for the first time the night they arrived,
followed by watching Straight Outta
Compton the next day, and enjoyed an awesome steak dinner at Charley’s in
the evening. Our final morning together we went to Top Golf and then kicked it back
at the house. During all of this time we had a lot of laughs, much good conversation,
and pleasant company in the shared silences. I really do wish we lived closer
to each other, but we’ll be able to see them much more often in the coming
months and years.
When they
left I really tried to take time to process all of the moments and consolidate
them into meaningful memories (it wasn’t too difficult either, as novel and
rare as such a simple situation like this has become). All in all, it was a
perfect way to spend my fortieth birthday, and I’m looking forward to their own
fortieths, as we discussed and agreed to meet up for each of their respective
fortieth birthdays in the coming years. The most interesting aspect of our
shared time together was to see how we are different in many ways due to how
our individual lives branched off and out, yet the same in a few key areas.
Discussing these common traits demonstrated that though we all have very
different lives at this point, we have a strong capacity for leadership, an
uncommon amount of charisma, and a desire and willingness to constantly improve
ourselves personally and professionally, which in turn we try to instill in
those around us, especially those with whom we work.
And this
brings me to the other major shift in my life that began around the same time
as my fortieth birthday—becoming a mentor to new teachers. Six years ago, our
school district put into place a program that would help support and retain new
teachers who were coming into the field. Teaching is certainly a profession with
a high level of turnover, with the average across the nation being approximately
fifty percent of all new teachers leaving within the first three years on the
job. To combat this phenomenon, a mentoring program was created and implemented
to help provide support and direction to first and second year educators in an
effort to foster and retain highly effective teachers. And, for at least the
last three years, I have had friends who went on to become mentors in the
program and tried to get me to apply believing that I would be amazing in this role.
After saying
no for those last three years, I finally took a leap of faith and applied this
past spring. Just getting past the initial two paper screenings and the twelve
person interview panel (as harrowing an experience as that was), I discovered,
have only been the beginning to one of—if not “the”—most challenging
undertakings of my professional career in education. This is not to say that I
am not enjoying the challenge immensely, because I am. But as crazy and hectic
as getting into the program turned out to be, it is nothing compared to the
daily insanity of trying to meet with all of the new teachers for the required
amount of time during the work week.
All the
busyness of mentoring notwithstanding, I absolutely love the job. It is
completely foreign and unlike anything I have experienced in my career. The
first week of school when I was not in class and teaching felt rather weird, to
be honest. The connections I have made with the young teachers with whom I am
working, however, have been amazing. I have always felt that the best aspect of
my teaching is being a mentor in many respects: constantly offering
encouragement to others, helping people find what it is that most motivates
them and developing that passion, providing a listening and sympathetic ear
when times get tough, etc. While I know I have so much to learn about this new
role, I am so excited and honored to have become a mentor to new teachers,
which is just one more reason I am back and motivated to return to these
letters.
Well, I know
this has been a lengthy letter and one that is long overdue. As always, NIP, I
hope that you are well and that you are cultivating a life well lived. With this
initial foray back into these letters, I just wanted to catch up with you and
let you know what I’ve been up to in the last eighteen months of life. There
are definitely numerous letters waiting to be written, and I truly hope to
write at least one per month from here on out. I feel as if there is so much
more new ground to be covered now that I’ve hit this particular age-related
milestone in my life, and even more so due to the perceived need that more
letters must be written, if only to clarify my own life experience and
distill whatever wisdom I can from this year-and-a-half long hiatus. I guess
all that is left for now is a parting valediction, so I will go with an old
favorite…
Keep chipping away, NIP.
- Ryan
Welcome back! It's good to have the craziness again!
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